Seeing my family, most of them anyway, was so nice. I love being "home"...that feeling you get when you walk through the front door...you feel like you had only stepped out the door to run to the store and had only been gone for 5 minutes. The smells and faces so firmiliar...everything where you remember it being. It's almost funny that one can have so much comfort from one place. What is even harder than coming back to my "home" was leaving it again...It wasn't an obvious physical battle or anything like that....the only person knowing how hard it was being myself, but when I heard the front door lock and I walked towards my car I felt a part of me cry. It's hard to leave everything you "know" and go out on your own to see what may come of yourself. This morning I wanted nothing more than to stay put on the couch in the living room and never leave...I wanted to site there and greet my siblings when they got in from work and school and to hug my mom when she got home from work as well, yet I am not there... Growing up is so hard and it takes many different stages that you really learn about as you complete them I believe. Today was one of them. My heart aches for everything firmiliar to me and comfortable....where I know everyone and everything will be ok because there are tons of people there to help. I ache for my family and my little sisters that I am missing out on their last few years in school...I ache for my mother...I love her so much. She is the greatest most selfless person I think I have ever met and ever will. I now know what courage it took to raise me and my brother and sisters at such a young age...I know I couldn't do it. I think she had already had 3 kids by the time she was my age....She is so strong. I miss Eric...he is our family's glue...I am content here with Jason...ready to move forward into our/my own life...the next chapter...everything seems to be at a stand still though and I am ready to move! Patience has never been very strong with me. But anyway....I am officially homesick for the first time in my life....