There is so much inside of me....so much to give....so much love, so much life....I feel so small with so much stuck inside. Depression comes and goes on a day to day, hour to hour basis. I hold tight to things that I am afraid of losing. Keep the loves of my life close and become fearful when I cannot touch them in a moments notice.
I love that a song can make me cry.....that one song or note can surface such emotion from my soul that my body falls into tears. I love that I get excited when others have amazing ideas, when my ideas feel obtainable and waiting around the corner.
I love the smell of pancakes in the morning even though I never eat more than one and hate syrup.
I love sleeping in, snuggling with someone that trully loves you and will be there with you through anything & everything.
I love the smell of rain, the way it gives the world hope by washing it clean & letting it start over fresh and new.
Sometimes I randomly spout things out...not even sure if they make sense and I love it too.
I have no idea what I am doing right now....no clue where I am headed....I feel like I need to make some choices soon but it's too scary so I just keep doing the same shit everyday and don't change. Which then leads me to being sad....it's all an evil circle.
My bedroom is dirty and I don't even try to clean it...what's the point? I don't really see one. I guess I put way too much faith and realisticness into symbolism. When i'm upset I don't care for anything in my life to be in order at all...it actually pleases me to be surounded by things that represent what I'm feeling inside. I can't wait to move.....so many choices to make....