Sooooo yea.....this was the last night tay and I hung out at my place....and these pictures are from the attack of the popsickle stick.....very scary!



and here are a few images from his going away party I threw him at the woof....it was fun...had a scrapbook table set up and everyone made him a page...very sweet


Here is the gang.....I can't believe how much I miss my nay

I hate it when I try and accomplish nothing.
I hate when someone I trust lets me fall.
I hate being missunderstood
I hate losing a "battle"
Right this moment....I guess I am just angry. I am sitting here in the dark of my own living room typing and all I can think about is a few things that have been seperatley bothering me that seem to have ganged up together today. I am not liked by someone that never even gave me a real chance to show them who I was. The fact that my best friend is thousands of miles away just hit me, I have once again slept half of my day away, I work at the same dead end job that I have for almost 4 years, I'm not in college.....I could go on forever. These are little things that always bother me but they usually choose to do so seperatley...not today.
People usually love me....but not this one. No matter what I do this he/she will never like me, but I feel the need to change his/her mind even though the damage is done and I know they will never trust that I am a good person. That eats at me the most....because I can fly to San Francisco to see my best friend, I can go back to college and I can get a better job, but I can't make someone like me. I guess I am at a loss....... don't know what to say .......... its a dull dark day outside so maybe that's why I am feeling so gloomy.

I have been missing theatre so much latley....I realize that working night shifts is the reason that I can't be in theatre, but tonight it really hit me. I was looking at Kelly Mcfarren's facebook page and realized that she is still doing live theatre....it made my stumach drop. If any of you haven't ever been in a life production let me be the first to tell you that there is not another feeling in the world. When you walk out on that stage, the energy that you feel, the adrenaline that rushes through you, the instant love that you can literally feel.....nothing can replace that feeling, and now I fear that I may never feel it again. I just felt like telling someone about my loss....I have lost my first love.