So I got up at like one this afternoon and sat around with nothing to do feeling useless like every day and then Jason and I went and cleaned out his grandmothers travel trailor. Then I cleaned our room and decided to go ahead and re-arrange the room so it wasn't so cluttered. So now it's eleven pm and I just finished....the room looks tons better now that it's all clean and purdy...makes me feel better. And having something to do today made me feel productive and not so lousy...
I missed the trip to freddy-burg with my family...wasn't sure if they were going and then I got a voice mail telling me they were leaving so I missed out...makes me sad but I don't have the money for gas to get there anyway. Pretty pathetic. BUT I did get a job with a promotional company based in Austin so I will get work with them here and there. I have a gig next saturday just dressin cute and hangin out with a bunch of models at partie's takin pictures with people so that could be ok. It pay's 16 bucks an hour so hopefully I will get to work with them a bunch...and I am getting my deposite back from my apartment so that will be something too...the promotional job doesn't give checks for like 30 days after the gig but then I guess it will be like christmas...random checks in the mail here and there never hurt MY feelings.
I am gonna go visit Cooper in Austin sometime this next week to meet up with with some modeling/singer agent guy - maybe that will be cool.
Guess my day was really uneventfull...didn't make it to Tony's funeral obviously which makes me sad, but I think we made peace the last time I saw him. I am really happy I did too...hadn't seen him since I found out he was sick and I was driving in from Austin and was in his area_I got this really odd feeling that made me have to find him. I wasn't even sure where he lived I just knew he owned some houses in the area so I drove around for a while and sure enough I came around a corner and saw his wife Darlene outside their house. It was a good visit and I am happy I got to see him....it was a kind of goodbye.
Even though I slept most of my day away I am really tired...probably cause I am sad....and never have anything to do but waste time on the enternet...I'm good at that... Thanks to myspace and stuff. I may have a shoot in Angelo this coming weekend so hopefully I will get to see everyone. I miss you all so much...
oh I found out my daddy is gonna have to have surgery on his mouth...bone graph or something so please keep him in your thoughts as well. I miss my daddy very much and never get to see him...don't really know his new family at all.....guess he is happy where he is in his life though so that is all that matters. He is going to school to be a minister and I couldn't be more proud of him....

(at bottom of page please leave memories)

Facts
Born: February 26, 1951
Place of Birth: San Angelo, Texas
Death: August 26, 2007
Place of Death: San Angelo, Texas
Occupation: Musician
Hobbies: Church Choir
Organizations: Cursillo Movement, Knights of Columbus,

Survived By
Darlene Gutierrez, Wife
Scott Peters, Jr., Son
Tricia Peters, Daughter
Rachael Wright Lacy, Daughter
Katrina Carrasco, Daughter
Eduarda "Lala" Gutierrez, Mother

Manuel Antonio "Tony" Serrano Gutierrez was born on Feburary 26, 1951 in San Angelo to Eduarda "Lala" Gutierrez, and Jilberto Gutierrez. Tony was a devoted and faithful husband to Darlene Gutierrez and loving father to Scott Peters Jr, Tricia Peters, Rachael Wright Lacy and Katrina Carrasco and loving father-in-law to Tosha Gray. He was a proud grandfather "Pa" to Jarrod Turner, Javen Peters, Emma Peters and Gabrial Gray-Alejandro. He was an inspirational half brother to Dubi Gutierrez, Abraham Gutierrez and Virginia Gutierrez Pena. Tony was preceded in death by his father, Jilberto Gutierrez.

Tony loved music and touched the lives and talents of hundreds of musicians throughout Texas and Southwest region. Tony cherished the memories of having been a member of Reba McEntire's band as well as Tortilla Factory, Texas Time Machine, and Whistle Stix. He enjoyed the times he shared with Santana and band, Freddy Fender, Johnny Rodriguez and Little Joe. Tony felt honored that Los Lonely Boys included one of his songs on their documentary, "Cottonfields and Crossroads." He had special memories of chatting for hours with BB King and Jack Nicholson. Tony spent the last ten years playing at Mejor Que Nada and Fuentes Downtown.

Tony was very devoted to his Lord and Savior Jesus Christ with his favorite verse being Matthew 22:37 "love the Lord first." He blessed his fellow parishioners at St. Mary's Catholic Church with his music and voice. He loved his Cursillo brothers and sisters and prayed along with the Christian Community. He was very grateful to his Christian Breakfast Community for their prayers and support. Tony felt proud and honored to have been a member of the Knights of Columbus. Tony's request was that any donations be made to the Tony Gutierrez Cancer Treatment Fund (Bank of San Angelo), a children's cancer charity of your choice, and/or Hospice of San Angelo. Tony and family would like to thank Dr. Duarte, Dr. Cheneku, Dr. Lissanu, Dr. Studt , Dr. Chang, nursing staff at Shannon and Kristina Douglas with W.T. Rehab. in San Angelo and Dr. Conrad and Dr. Weinberg at MD Anderson in Houston, HOSA for their care during the last month of his life and to everyone who worked tirelessly to organized benefit concerts, golf tournaments and donation jars. The family wishes to express his heartfelt "Thank You" to everyone for their donations, prayers, words of kindness and hugs throughout his illness.

A Rosary will be held at 7:00 p.m. at St. Mary's Catholic Church, 7 W. Ave N, on Wednesday. Mass of Christian Burial will be on Friday at 10:00 a.m. at the church with interment following at Calvary Catholic Cemetery. Services have been entrusted to the Arnoldo Gutierrez Family.

I was so blessed to have known Tony and work with him for 6 years...singing at Mejor will always mean so much to me.. I remember the first time I met him...in the side room at Mejor.. I sang him Somewhere over the rainbow and from there he gave me the courage to shine. Tony is the first person to ever record me singing...I cried when I heard it...I also did my first photoshoot with Tony in a studio in San Angelo for a CD he was doing with me...he paid for it..he was always so giving..... Tony you will be so missed and loved forever. Thank you for who were and always will be to me and everyone else.

anyone who knew Tony please feel free to post memories and notes in this blog. This was written in memory of him. right below here click on "peeps who love me" God Bless

I just took that picture of me and Febe....that's our new "FARM" look....no makup except whats left over from the last time you put some on and nobody even cares if you wash your hair or not.... kinda relaxing actually....There is nobody out here but us... nobody to impress... so... I don't try anymore... Jason is stuck with me weather I am ugly or not so HA! hmmm.... apparently my nose ring decided to jump out at some point within the last few days....so I just spent 15 minutes trying to get another ring in the hole.... it hurt soooo bad... almost gave up and then POP it was pierced again.... not sure why I like it so much but I do.... gives my face a little exctra "sParKLe"
That's Jason right now working on photoshop....he didn't want me to take a picture so naturally I HAD to take one.... bet he wants to trade me in. hehehehe. I always tell him that I am just a pup and he need's to play with me. hehe OH! Febe learned how to shake....though she learned lay down and shake to close together so she gets them mixed up...but she is getting it all sorted out. It's so cute... she holds her little paw up and waits for you to shake with her. LOVE IT! She is sooooo smart! I just took that picture... she looks like a little white pig... hehehehehe...I will finish writing later... gonna help Jason make lunch.
OK now its 10pm and we are back on the computers where we spend most of our time....get's old sometimes but what else do we have to do? We both make the majority of our money from booking work online so here we sit minute after minute searching the web...myspace, craigs list, ModelMayhem, OneModelPlace....and many more..... work has been hard to come by lately which hurts us both a lot.... sometimes it's hard to keep your head up.
I found out today that one of my good friend's Courtney (not Bartlett) is prego with her secon baby and is soooo excited! I am really happy for her.... she and her husband want to have 4 kids... that's 36 months of her whole life pregnant...that's like 3 years! OMG! I DONT THINK I COULD DO THAT! My mom was pregnant for a total of 45 months! She was almost prego for 4 YEARS! HA I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT THAT! GEEZ! Im not sure about having kids... part of me wants to and part of me wants to never even think about it.... I think the never even think about it part is winning so far. lol. When Karen had Grace it kinda helped me though...I got to help her in the delivery room and saw Grace be born...it wasn't as horrible as I thought it would be. I mean it's not something I would wake up in the morning and say "Hey I think I will give birth today," but the hurt looked like it went right away once that baby was in her arms.I'm sure that if I had to I would be a good mom, but I don't wanna have to do anything like that. I want to be ready and want it and decide to do it when it happens... I want to be able to give my baby an amazing life....they grow sooo fast. Grace holds a special place with me....Karen gave me such an amazing gift by letting me watch her come into the world...she is getting so big! I wish I was closer so I could watch her grow. Karen sends me pictures all the time though...but for now Febe is enough for me..and Jason and I are gonna have some whiiiiiiite babies...with red hair and freckles....ugh poor things.....and Jason has made it 34 years without getting married and having babies so I doubt he is in any kind of a hurry to start now. Pluss I have tons of cute pictures of Febe when she was a babyand I can look forward to her birthdays and stuff too.....which her 1st birthday is OCTOBER 16TH!!!! I can't wait!and getting married at this point isn't even an option so I try not to think about it much. I am sure you all know that I would like to get married, but one day it will happen and it will be forever and there will be a big dress and cake and crying family and yadda yadda yadda....I was foolish enough to rush into the thought of getting married to someone who shorty there after turned out to be an idiot so waiting doesn't sound like a terrible idea right now. So there are no plans for wedding cakes, babies or crying family anytime in the near future as of now....not sure how I ended up writing about this. hahaha... I tend to ramble I guess.
I hope to get ahold of one of my cloud images one of these days from stupid face Jason....I wana show off my first experience as a photographer...I think I did good...
Well I will stop wasting your time now!
Love ya lots!
to the moon and back even...
jessie

I found out that Tony "toke" Gutirez passed away this past Saturday after losing a battle with cancer. I found out from my long time friend Courtney Bartlett...Not sure I will be able to make the funeral which will be held this Friday morning at 10am in San Angelo....though I am saddened I am happy he is in a better place and doesn't hurt anymore. I hope that his family is well and are taking it ok.... Tony was a big part of my extended family for a very long time and I miss him already. Every time I hear Keeper of the stars I will think of you Tony G.
I haven't heard back from the S&S clothing company but I got picked as one of the 3 finalist to fly to NYC and be in a fashion calendar for Armani, and Versace. The guy is interested in the two other models more than me but one of them isn't available so if the other girl can't then it's all MINE and I really need it. Pluss I have never seen NYC so I would love to go. AND I would have some amazing tear sheets to add to my portfolio.... but I wont know for a few days....pray for me!
I applied at San Marcus River bar and Grill today with Jason for bartending job's and I actually think the guy was interested in hiring us both. Not as amazing and glamouros as New York but I need to make some money!!! I have been trying to find a job anywhere.....wal mart never called me hahaha..... oh well.... guess they don't want me.... we will call it....ugh..... they can't afford me. lol. I think I will apply/applie (never could spell) at STARBUCKS next..... if Alicia could do it then I can too become the next Sheppard Starbucks scientist. Eventually something has got to give... I have to get something somewhere.....I believe in Karma but I can't remember what I have done to deserve this...I miss my family and my friends.....TAYLOR!!! Gosh I miss Tay-Nay soooOOOOooooo much....he is my best friend in the whole wide world. I never could ask God for a better best friend...he is my strength....it was so hard leaving him.... He gave me a elephant piggy bank to remember him by and I named him Henna- he keeps watch over me.
Jason is bored and doesn't feel like working in photoshop.....poor baby. He is messin around on myspace doing nothing really....I love him.... he is such a kind hearted guy....funny too. He has been in the funniest mood all day....dry humor funny.
Well I am now chatting with the director of the company in NYC so I am gonna go....wish me luck.
love ya'll to the moon and back
jessie

SO I did audition for the fashion line today and I think it went really well....I mean I may not get it, but I feel like I had a strong audition. Pluss! I found out that I actually know the fashion designer!
His name is Jason B Steele and I am actually one of his models! Funny how things like that happen.
He wasn't at the audition himself as he is in San Angelo right now but I called him from the waiting area after I saw his name on the release forms. He is not in charge of casting so I may not get it, but isn't it funny that it's his line? I am so happy for him! If I get added to the line of models I will be doing a fashion show in Angelo followed by one in Austin. So you all will have to come and see me walk the walk in his clothes! I have an interview with a restaraunt in San Marcos tomorrow so wish me luck cause I NEED TO MAKE SOME DERN MONEY!
As for me that's about it for the day.....nothing too amazing I guess, but another day. I may get to visit my family this weekend if I can come up with gas money.... oh and Tay called me and told me a friend of mine from woofers had a heart attack so please everyone keep him in your prayers. His name is David and I spoke with him on the phone. He doesn't sound too good, but at least he was talkin....hope he is ok.
Love you all to the moon and back,
jessie


OH! JUST INCASE NOBODY CAN FIND IT!!! I have had several people ask how to leave comments on here... right below this will be a thing that says PEEPS WHO LOVE ME....I beleive you clock on that and can leave me a message. OK loveyabye

SooooOOOoooOOOOoooo I got some images back from photographer Joshua Leiberman from L.A. and I am pleased with them. There are a few that I don't care for but that's all in the love of art... people see things differently. He sent me the images from a clothing line that I am promoting so far. Josh and I shot a ton of different looks other than the clothing line and I am still waiting on those edits to come in. The designer is Henry Hall and he is sending me another shirt to shoot in today... I get FREE CLOTHES which rocks right now since I can't go shopping....the next shirt is pink and way cute. I didn't care to much for the teddy bear shirt. I got invited to audition for the SCIENCE & SANCTITY CLOTHING FASHION SHOOT & BUZZ VIDEO taking place in Austin Texas tomorrow. The audition requires this: We will be taking digital stills and conducting a video interview. This is a NEW fashion company. We encourage you to come dressed to kill and have your swimsuit on underneath your clothes to facilitate a quick change. If this is not possible, we will have a changing room. Please bring hard copies of your headshot, comp card, and resumes. Please bring a smile and a fun attitude, as we will be providing the same....none of which I have so I have to decide if I am gonna do it tonight... I hate competitions though. And you have to be 5"6 to be in this, but they did send me an invitation. Runway show models have to be 5"8 so they are already cutting down the requirements... I wonder if they know I am so short. I am thinkin' about doing it though...KATE MOSS was only 5"6 and she made it big in the runway world so maybe its up to be to kick down the standards again. I can do it I think!
Anywho... Jason is wanting to go to the studio in San Antonio today and shoot with a model... which shouldn't be hard to pick one. I need to work with more models MUA (makeup artist) for my portfolio. So maybe we will do that, but if I am gonna audition tomorrow in Austin I have a lot of work to do....fake tanner and hair and get all that junk together that they need and I don't posses. I am also going to submit to FORD MODELING AGENCY in New York sometime soon. It's scary but I wanna do it and if they like me they will fly me in for an interview! I also have to turn paperwork into Austin Actors Warehouse ASAP! Jason's uncle Wally Welch is an actor and his agent works there.... Wally reffered me so there is a good chance they will take me. I just watched one of his latest movie's where he played alongside Ashley Judd in Come Early Morning. He has also been in films, and TV shows such as "Comanche Moon", "Friday Night Lights" , The Return, Serving Sara, "Walker, Texas Ranger" , Cadillac Ranch, "Streets of Laredo", Boys Don't Cry, Rough Riders, and The Newton Boys. He is trying to get me in on a movie they are filming in Boerne Texas in a few months. I thnk that would rock! The first time I met him I was inside Jason's car watching Emily (Jason's neice) while Jason gave Wally his new headshots and he came up to the window while I was singing acting stupid and yelled "HEY!" he scared me to death! He is a really sweet guy and I hope to visit with him again soon.
Well I guess that's all for now... still no job but looking hard! I MISS EVERYONE! Thank you Eric for reading this! Means a lot!
this last image was the first shoot Jason and I ever did together.. months before we started dating... kinda cute to look back now and remember it.
LOVE YOU TO THE MOON AND BACK!
jesKa

Jason and I are going to have a photoshoot together sometime in the near future by his brother Brian who is also a very talented photographer. So then I can send out dorky christmas cards n' stuff with our picture on it.... hehehehe and you all know I will do it to!
So its another not so interesting day on the ranch.... got up late and am now sittin here doing nothing... what I do everyday. I wish I could get a job but getting a job in the middle of nowhere has proven to be very difficult. Hopefully Jason and I will be able to move to Austin soon.... then I would be able to get something a lot easier and closer to home. If I got a job here I would have to drive 25 minutes to work everyday and, yes, I do know that most people living in big cities have to drive even farther than that but I am not used to it and don't wanna do it! Grrr......So Alicia (T-dog) called me the other night and informed me that she will be in austin for her 21st birthday. That should be fun though I am not sure what to expect really, both Sheppard girls out on the town? Sounds like disaster to me, but who knows it could be fun as long as we bring along mediators. But it will be nice to see her... I wish she and I got along better cause she really is one of my favorite people in the whole world.
I guess I am really not doing anything today except wasting time... it's raining outside so the roads will be mudd. So here I will stay.... yawn*** maybe finish off another book. Right now I am reading "Lipstick Jungle" which is written by Candace Bushnell who was the author of Sex in the City which is one of my all time favorite TV shows. So far the book is interesting but not as good as her last one I read.... I recommend reading Trading Up first if you enjoy girly books.... It is full of scandal and start struck characters... I loved it, but that's me. I wouldn't recomment Alicia reading it but one day I could see Veronica definitely enjoying it. Jason and I recently watched the movie 300... and I must admit that it was way better than I tought it was going to be... Yes, there is a lot of blood and gore but the overall tale is amazing and very true according to jason. He read up on the history of the spartans and whoever the other guys were while I was finishing up my Harry Potter book... I really think my dad, Eric would love 300 and should see it. I can picture him on the couch yelling war strategies right now. hehehe
And yes I finished the Harry Potter books... I can't believe they are over... at least I have 2 movies to go though... I haven't even seen the 5th one yet. I am forcing Jason to watch them all from the first one so he can go and see the rest of them in the theatre with me.

ONE MORE rental to go and he will be all caught up. I can't wait to see the latest one out in the theatres but I wanted to have Jason all prepared first... he couldn't just go walking in there to see the 5th movie without having seen any of the others now could he? Nope.
Well I guess thats all for now... Eric is the only one who has been writing me about my blogs... I do hope more of you catch on! It could be really fun!


Love you all to the moon and back,
jessie

This blog thing is actually getting an upper hand on me.... it's difficult which I imagine it wouldn't be if I would read the direction's but then it wouldn't be as much fun.
It about 2:30 in the afternoon and my dad, eric wrote me telling me that he is happy I set this thing up. So now I just hope that I can keep it up and have something intesresting to say every once in a while.
Apparently there is some of my family meeting up in Freddie-burg this coming weekend and I really hope to make it. I would love to see everyone though Aunt Sara's clan probably won't come. But Jason and I hope to make it to Lago soon and visit them. Jason and I are in Austin often and I miss them. I hope to kidnap tonya for a few days... maybe she can come chill on the ranch with me for a while... I miss her.
SO! I am learning about photography! I hope to be good at it one day and am actually reading a college text book on my own free will by Ansel Adams called The Negative. I took my first pictures of clouds the other day and when jason loads them onto his computer I will post some of my first photography work for you all to see. I had to concentrate on dark and light things... cause aparetnly there are like two thousand shades of gray or something and you have to capture almost white and almost pure black and all the shades inbetween to get a good image. But I did take an amazing out of focus picture of a sun flower hehe.
So I guess the plan for today is mowing... I am gonna help mow... I have never even started a mower once in my life so it could be interesting.... I wanna ride the riding mower... I always loved having races on papas riding mowers that went 2 miles an hour when I was little.So I have only a hand full of friend's up here in Austin, Jason being one and Duke Morse who is another really talented photographer. Everytime Jason and I go up to Austin we end up going to 5th and 6th street and following Duke around. He knows everyone in this town is ridiculous! I also ran into Derek Swanson last weekend on 6th street.It was really funy cause Derek and I haven't lived in the same town in forever and it was odd just running into him. I hope to do a shoot with him at some point. He wants to get into modeling and he informed me that he is actually gonna be in a runway show pretty soon and I think thats awesome. Myself being to short to do runway I hope to one day bust the "must be 5'8" criteria for the cat walk and do it myself.
So I guess that's all for now....I did a shoot with Jasons neice the other night.... she is so cute. She is 9 year's old and say's "I know" to everything! We did a fairy-tale shoot and a doll shoot with her. This is the only edited image so far but there is more to come. I will write more later today after I mow and what not.
Love you all to the moon and back,
jessie Lou

So many times I have thought that I was in love.....last night I was sitting up on my computer while Jason was sleeping and I realized how content I really am....I mean I am looking for a job and trying to find my way in a totally new place....a place away from my family and friends...a place away from my comfort zone. I finally moved away to make my dreams come true.
Jason was sleeping and it made me smile....he is here for me...he always supports me and loves me no matter what. He makes my heart smile. We are living on a ranch in Kingsbury Texas....anyone who knows me knows that I am not a "nature" girl but I am makin it and actually worked on the ranch the other day. We were moving tree branches, vines, and crap into a big tractor dump bucket thing so Jason could "brush hawk" a field and then mow it... a spider decided to climb down my arm and tried to get in my glove... now normal spiders freak me out enough but this was a BANANA SPIDER and they are so big and scary! Jason said a thre my gloves off like a hokey player about to fight... and then I proceded to bounce around he field for a while... but I didn't scream. We also found one snake and several toads. But I made it and it really wasn't that bad at all!
This is my first blog, but I heard about it on the radio and thought it would be a great way to keep in touch with my family and friends and let them know how everything was going. So here it is....my life...online.
Jason is sitting to my right playing the guitar, we are gonna get a song list together and play at some local places soon, which should be really fun. He is very talented and reminds me a lot of my little brother Zack. He has done so much in his life and it amazes me.

Pluss he loves Febe which is always a pluss. Speaking of which, Febe is doing really great and has almost learned two new tricks! She can speak, sit, dance, beg, and now she can lay down and almost shake....she is still a little freaked out about shaking but at least now I think she knows we aren't trying to kill her. Febe saw her first lightning bug... she was going potty and it lite up right infront of her face and she screamed like someone kicked her... then she proceeded to look for it and scream every time it blinked. She also loves hunting crickets and frogs out on the ranch though she really doesn't know what to do with them once she gets them. There are a ton of cats here too and she doesn't know what to think of them yet..... especially when they want to play with her...

Tay and Sariah came up to Austin and Duke, Jason and I met them at a karaoke club and hung out. It's always nice to see them... they are some of my best friends in the while world. The Karaoke club wasn't too great since we are used to woofers but it was fun and we had a good time. I hope they visit again soon.
Well I guess Jason and I are gonna watch a movie so I guess it's off to movie land. I hope I can get my family and friends reading this so we can keep up to date with everything going on in my world. Maybe even a few of them will pick it up too. I hope my mom does cause she always has the best stories and I miss my family sooooooo bad.
This was from my last shoot with Jason... once again he is sooooo talented. I think he and I can do anything in the whole wide world together. I love you all and hope you are all well.
Love you to the moon and back,
Jessie