Close my eyes to a yesterday I make the canvas clean,
Brushin strokes and creating what I never seen,
Drive a stollen car from a man that I'd like to meet,
hey hey hey yea rear-views hard to read.
hey hey hey yay please don't remember me..
Remember me.
Too cool to be foregettin his tattoo all over me,
wanna wash my self away with a bottle of whiskey,
seen myself in a window and I drive off real fast,
Wanna be that other window, whats now in the past,
Yea yea hey yea rear-views hard to read.
hey hey yay please don't remember me.
Remember me, yea yea.

That's a song by Claire Cunningham (not how sure I am as to the lyrics...I wrote them as I listened to the song...so they may be wrong) who is a local artist here in New Braunfels Texas. She and Jason are good friends and now I concider myself a friend of her's as well. Though I have not heard her sing just yet I enjoy listening to her on myspace http://www.myspace.com/clairecunningham. Claire's song Don't Remember Me inspired my last screenplay that I wrote. Right now it is still in it's 1st rough draft form, but editing will begin soon. Please listen to this song if you can and start listening around for Claire's name...she is so talented I am sure she will go far. I hope to hear her live soon!

I am once again bored out of my mind. I have an interview possiblility tomorrow in San Marcos for a cleaning Lady job...pay is ok and I bet they are flexable. They also work out of Austin and San Antonio so if we move I could continue to work for them. I am just soooOOOOOooooooOOOOoooo tired of sitting on my butt...I really have been trying to gt a job it just hasn't worked out just yet. I am gonna get one! I HAVE TO! I hate feeling useless....it's not a good feeling. At this point any job would make me happy. Even McDonalds probably though I haven't resorted to that just yet. Not sure I could flip burgers all day and have an apetite...Speaking of which I have only been eating once a day for like 2 or 3 weeks...I am scared my motabolism is gonna crap out on me when I start eating normal again.....EEEeeeekkk!
Anywho I spoke to Zack a long time last night online....poor honey...he can't seem to get over Emily and you can't really help him...I think he likes mourning her...And then Veronica called me at 2 in the morning bacause she couldn't sleep. It was a nice surprise one I realized nothing was wrong. Nout used to getting calls from her so late.. Still haven't heard back from S&S clothing so maybe I didn't get the add work after all. I really felt like it was a strong audition and interview...The guy actually wrote me saying..."I really enjoyed your interview and was very impressed with your outspoken charm and beautiful figure"-.Joseph Garza...maybe that was a kind hint as to "hey kid your not good enough!"Wish I had something to tell about....but my day hasn't been very eventfull...I got up...got online...talked to Jasons siter Jessica...played Angelina Ballerina with Jessica ans Emily (which I lost), stood on the porch and watched it rain really hard and now I am back in my room online...like everyday...bored. Jason is of outside somewhere doing ranch things...with a tractor...Oh what an exciting life I live...sometimes I wonder if I made the wrong choice when I moved...I mean I am happy here with Jason...which is ONE of the reasons I decided to move..I also decided to move because I wasn't getting anywhere closer to my dreams in San Angelo...yet here I am...stuck on a ranch with nothing to do but feel worthless...I help where I can and do what I know how to do...I try to feel like I help, but I don't. I feel lazy and pittifull...is that even how you spell that? I miss my family soooo much and my friend's...but I am here and moved...so I have to keep getting up everyday and hope that today will be different.
I haven't modeled in forever....makes me sad...I love modeling so much.. I can't paint cause none of my art stuff is here and there isn't room for me to paint here anyway. I hope that when I can get a job a can buy some yarn and start making christmas presents for people and maybe figure a way out that I can market my scarves here. I sold them at Taylor's moms shop last Christmas and did ok, but I doubt she will want to sel them again. I just want something to do..something I can create and then look at and feel and be proud of. I have never wanted to have something to do more in my life...I actually was always very content being lazy and doing nothing...but now something has changed and I don't really know why. I can't stand just sitting her wasting away...I'm bored....all the time....not miserable though so don't think that. Just bored.
Guess I will go in the kitchen and see if I can help someone with something...probably not-they rarely ever need me to do anything...sigh***