So I get a voicemail from my mother, crying and needs me to call her back, which I do my best to do. I call anyone I know that would be able to get in touch with her but she isn't around. I try to do what I can to help in the situation but there really isnt much I can do. I find out that my little brother must think that I am the scum of the earth for whatever reason and is using that as a catalyst for my baby sister to not make bad choices, which always makes ya feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Granted, there was a point in time where I probably didn't make the best choices in the universe but I never did drugs or got pregnant.... and who likes having their past thrown at them- or better yet- thrown at their baby sister. So i'm pissed.
To be completely honest I think I am just angry in general most of the time. When things don't make sense I get so frustrated and angry I could just scream, and sometimes do. All I wanted to do last night was help, and I ended up feeling like a horrible example and the reason that my baby sister is being an idiot. Nice huh? So now I don't know what I will do with my day. I really should go and see my grandmother, this town has a way of sucking life out of people. Taking all of their energy and making them sleepy, depressed, and bitter.

Family, kinda like God I guess. They never really want you around unless they need something. Why would I ever want to have children of my own if this is the kind of insane thought process that is born with them? My little sisters and brother make me crazy and scared enough for a lifetime, do I really need to insure my fate with children of my own?
It sucks really....cause in the end all I really want is for them to make good choices and not do some of the things that I did while growing up. You can't tell them that though. Impossible really, they hear what they want and usually take that information and twist it around to use against you in some superficial argument. In the end, I still love them. Good/bad/retarded/talented/insane/aggrivating- all the different qualities they seem to let you catch a glimps of daily. They are all bi-polar. THE END