So Sariah's baby shower was today and I'm so happy that it's all over haha. Im so sleepy and ready for a week to finish unpacking and making my home a home. I'm happy I could give Sariah the shower that she needed and deserved and it was fun. Below is a picture of the Seuss things that I made for her.

The food table at the baby shower









And below is a picture of my little mr. looking more and more like a panda bear every day

So I am learning to practice patience and things of that nature... I'm trying the tactic of making him happier than myself because he deserves it. Seriously if I think about it I don't really DO anything lol. He works all the time and I stay home feeling sick or whatever and he never complains... he is an amazing person and I am trying my hardest to show him everyday that I see it and appriciate him.
He made me breakfast in bed this morning... sweetest thing EVER! I ate half of it and then got sick hahaha but that was still the sweetest thing in the whole world. I love him very much.
I have been spending tons of time with my mom and have been having so much fun doing it. Yesterday we cleared out the babies room (almost completely) and went to the cloth store and bought some cool tapestry material and she showed me how to re-upholster my dining room chairs which look fantastic! Then we went to the grocery store and walked around forever... I don't see any of my friends anymore now that I don't go to the bar and stay out all hours of the night so it's so nice hanging out with someone that i know loves hanging out with me and she isn't bored around me. She is making me homemade stew tonight which I have been seriously craving and she hasn't made it in like 10 years at least. I'm REALLY excited about the stew... then I assume we will hang out tonight, not sure what Jason wants to do- maybe we can grab some beer and wine and play board games! (I have been craving ODoules lol) and if J doesn't wanna hang out mom hasn't seen the Notebook (which if you haven't ever seen it let me tell you what- it will kick your ass if you even have the remnants of a heart... really really great emotional total chick flick).
Got the kitchen set up yesterday before mom got her so now really the only thing left to do is organize the living room! Jason wants to get a TV for the living room, we'll see. OH! Jason helped me make some awesome canvases the other night at moms (told you i have been over there a lot) and I have one more to put together before I can gesso them but I have some awesome ideas as to what I want to paint on them. It's a 3 piece set of canvas and I am going to hang them above our bed and desks in the room.. I think it will give the room a really nice modern/clean look. Probably will just use 3 colors at the most.
Ok I have rambled enough...

So we moved into the new place this past Sunday around 2a.m. of which we wouldn't have been able to do if my mother hadn't helped... thank you mom.
On the first moving day, while I was packing the first box (I procrastinated a little) Febe had her baby which Jason has named Wylie (like Wylie Coyote). So I have been worried about stressing her too much but she is doing well. When I realized she had her pup I called my mom and grabbed one of the boxes I planned on packing with and made Febe her nursery... Mom showed up and we took care of Febe and her baby.

I think he looks like a little Panda... looks a lot like Felps except his white stripe on his forehead is thicker.







We love him very much!
Now the new apartment..... I feel like the people from TLC's cleaning and organizing team might burst through my front door at any moment and fix it for me... but they haven't so I started to organize my life tonight lol. I think it might make me feel better. Plus I have made myself an awesome scrapbook area which I haven't had in a very long time.
The below image is one showcasing my living room....

the next image you will find below is my kitchen... inviting isn't it?

Now for the babies room... I know I think "nursery" when I see it

This was my bedroom, but I took it after I had already been cleaning for about an hour so it doesn't do it justice

And now the finished product... I got it all pretty and cleaned at 4 in the morning but it was totally worth it.

The below image is of the biggest closet I have ever had... I love it!

Ok Hopefully I will have more images of clean rooms tomorrow, but I am babysitting Jett from 8am to 2pm so Im not sure I will get a ton done... but maybe!

Thats all I want really.... I decided I wanted the sandwiches at about 4am and almost got up and went to the store to get bread but backed out cause I was more tired than hungry so I ate chicken noodle soup (gross). I posted on my wall on facebook that I was hankerin for a tuna sandwich and some people freaked out, I am allowed 6oz of Tuna a week as long as it's light chunk in water cause it's better than the alternative I guess. I personally think that Tuna in oil is f-ing disgusting. Thinkin' about possibly bringin' the orange danish rolls to moms and making them there cause she likes them and I'm not sure Jason appriciates them as he should.
So now I am stuck here starving for tuna fish and feeling bad that I want to eat it even though it could contain mercury which could hurt my baby... DAMN IT! grrrr.... How much is in a can anyway? It can't be that much- and why didn't I know I was ingesting mercury when I ate fish until I got pregnant? Did you know I can't eat deli meat unless I put it in the microwave and nuke it until it's steaming? Cause it can contain something I can't remember the name of that can cause miscarriages. Can't eat Raw meat such as sushi, seafood, rare or uncooked beef, or poultry because of the risk of contamination with coliform bacteria, toxoplasmosis, and salmonella. Raw eggs, or foods containing raw egg such as Caesar dressing, mayonnaise, homemade ice cream or custard, unpasteurized eggnog, or Hollandaise sauce because raw eggs may be contaminated with salmonella. Soft cheese such as blue cheese, feta, Brie, Camambert, and Latin-American soft white cheeses such as queso blanco and queso fresco because they may harbor harmful bacteria. Fish containing accumulated levels of mercury in their fatty tissues such as shark, swordfish, king mackerel, tilefish. When I consumes large amounts of mercury, my baby may suffer brain damage resulting in developmental delays (for example, delays in learning to walk or talk). There's more! I can't have cokes or chocolate or tea or lots of things that I really enjoy like sonic! There ranting done... now all I have to do is think of something I want more than tuna fish sandwiches so I wont eat that, or maybe I could make it with canned chicken... I wonder if that tastes nasty.

These are pictures from Fashion Week in Austin. The day before I found out I was pregnant....


me and Jessa wearing our dresses for the runway

me and the other models from the line I walked for. The girl in blue is Katha the designer

me and Katie at the after party

GUESS WHAT? I'M PREGNANT.

Jason's birthday party

Jason's 2nd part of his birthday party at the bowling alley

Jason and I at the 3rd part of his birthday party, the bar

Last fun thing I have done recently, hang out with my nay

we matched as always =0)

So there you have it people.... ten and a half weeks preggers and the little fella has a face already! Pretty crazy actually because I don't even look pregnant and there is this tiny little person inside of me that already has fingers and toes and stuff. So bizarre!

Some days I have more belly than others...depends on the amount of food I eat lol. This whole thing is soooo weird and I'm not sure I will ever get use to it.

That's me, took it today after my sonogram picture so they go together. All that baby is stuffed in me and I can barley tell I'm baby infested.
We heard it's heartbeat, which you are can see in the sonogram according to the nurse but I can't "see" it, I for sure heard it though. Sounded like a helicopter - a very tiny one and it was going so fast... I didn't react like I thought I would. I almost cried, but i was hoping that would be the moment I turned into the mushy mommy to be but it didn't happen. What can ya do..... Maybe when I find out the sex of the baby at my next appointment in 2 months I will go into mommy over drive.
Or I might just have to wait and hold the little bugger before it kicks in.
On a different note. My facial went really well last night thanks to my friend Jess Jane and I made 1/4 of my weeks goal, but I didn't have any appointments today. I did however have my first team member sign up under me so if I can get 2 more by the end of the month I will be a star consultant or something like that lol whatever it's called its good according to my friend Liz.
Well I just ate too much dinner cause Jason made some amazing chicken something... it was awesome.... now I'm gonna work on some scarves and then spam some Mary Kay around before I try to drift off to dream land.
I hope you like the pictures... I haven't totally decided that I'm not posting them on facebook but I'm leaning more towards just posting them here... I don't wanna be the weird chick with pictures of her black and white alien all over FB.

Ok about to get ready to go give facials and makeovers at Liz's Monday night Mary Kay party-she has them every monday night.... hopefully I will have a good night tonight and I can open my mary kay bank account tomorrow. I have goals to reach this month so I can hopefully put in my notice at woofers so please pray for me! I will let you all know how the party goes later once I get back home.
On a side note..... I am effing starving! I thought the Schwans man would have come by hours ago but I haven't seen or heard anything except for my loud neighbors upstairs. I want Schwans chicken nuggets to bad! arg

So.... I have been trying my hardest to get my Mary Kay business up and running since I found out I was infected with fetus....and it's not going well. I love my job at woofers and everyone that works up there are like family to me but I am just too darn sleepy to stay up all night. My back already hurts (which makes a little sense considering I am growing a human) and my right knee always seems to ache at the end of my shift, which makes no sense to me at all but according to Donny it's because the stuff my body was making to make my knee not hurt is now going to the baby lol.... ok Donna. So I might be stickin' around the woof longer than I had planned.
School, what a discouraging situation that turned out to be. I loved school so much last semester and I was honestly really looking forward to going back this semester but the 30% increase in tuition was a surprise and I didn't even have any books or anything..... So now I have to wait almost a year to go back. I hope to take some online courses next semester since I will be going into labor at some point during that 3 months.
I just ate dinner 45 minutes ago and I am starving! This is just silly... I'm going to walk into the kitchen and Jason is gonna think I'm crazy lol. Thinking about making a documentary called "Things they don't tell you about pregnancy: You don't glow" I feel like crap all the time! arrrrg
love you all
jes

Today was moms birthday and Jason and I tried to make it really special for her... she deserves it and we were really happy to make it happen for her. We ate at Bonzi Garden and the cook didn't even do any of the fancy tricks or anything... made me sad but at least it wasn't infront of eric cause i want him to get the full show when he sees it, he hasn't eaten there yet.
I have a definite baby bump now... well at least I know its a baby bump anyway. I show it to people and they all act like they can't tell anything has changed lol it's not like I am gonna get freaked out that "OH MY GOD IM PREGNANT?!?!?!" I know. Would be nice to get through the looking fat phase and into the looking pregnant phase though. Still trying to choke down the whole idea of having a human growing inside of me and becoming a mom... sometimes it feels like all my hopes and dreams are finished now.... like my life has come to a stand still. I'm scared and feel like everyone expects me to be this glowing happy person that has already stuffed an entire closet full of baby clothes, but I haven't bought anything yet.... haven't even started to clean the room out that will be the nursery yet.
But I have been babysitting my friend Brandy's daughter and I think she is wearing me down. She is 7 weeks old and so sweet...makes me want to see what mine will come out like lol. Im watching her again tomorrow.



those pictures were taken during fashion week, which was the night before I found out I was preggers lol. So one day I will be able to tell my baby that he/she walked down the red carpet with me in Austins biggest fashion show ever. I already look at the pictures and think "my god my waist was soooo tiny!" lol
I will write a blog about fashion week once I download the pictures from my camera... I have been being VERY lazy lol

So things have been really scary and I am sure they will continue to be unknown and terrifyingly new but people have gone through worse before. This is a blessing in disguise and I need to stop freaking out, take a step backward and realize the blessings I actually have. The first one being Jason which I have taken advantage of in the past and don't plan on ever doing again. He does so much to show me how much he loves me and I never acknowledged the fact that I appriciated anything he did and I think that hurt him. I want to show him how much I love him everyday for the rest of my life.
This little baby inside of me honestly terrifies me more than anything I have ever faced before. It's a forever and I haven't dealt with many of those as of yet but I get the feeling that this one is gonna be a whammy. I know Im not ready but Jason says nobody ever is and he will be the best daddy in the whole world so I know I can do this if he is by my side. I feel so silly for being so blind... I didn't see him for what and who is was and now I see it with blinding clarity... he is my best friend, someone that will love me even when I royally F**k up, he knows all my silly little nuances... like eating ice cream in the bath and crying at commercials when the music is beautiful... he even knows my favorite pizza and it's not a normal kind.... he holds me all night and kisses my face in the mornings... he takes the puppies for walks when I should help but am too lazy.... something I need to work on..... he listens to me talk about my art projects even when I know he has no clue what I'm talking about, he eats my food when I cook and I know it can't be very good... he loves me. And it's not that silly love that I have had before... the kind of love that fills you up for a while but leaves you so empty and alone that it hurts your very soul... he really loves me... everything about me... he even loves all of my bad qualities... that I am a habitually messy person... very obsessive compulsive whenever it strikes me and he never knows exactly when that will be... he knows that I battle compulsive lying and yet he believes in me..... his love is the kind of love that is always there.. all day and all night and forever... the kind of love that you envy when you watch the notebook... I actually found it and I almost ruined it... I tried pretty damn hard to ruin it really... but never again. Jason deserves me to be the person I know I am and thats what I plan to do for him... I am going to be his wife and a mother and my life will be filled with laughs and smiles and tears and sleepless nights and memories... and it's going to be gorgeous... I just really pray for God to watch me along the way... please watch me. Don't let me lose this.... I want this more than anything... Please.

Sooo....... life is an interesting thing... it changes in a blink of an eye...
Jason and I are expecting a little boy or girl in about 7 months. I guess I am still in the weird/awekward/dazzed stage of being pregnant lol. I am always very sleepy and starving now... which is weird because I use to only eat once a day and now its every 2 or 3 hours. I could honestly sleep all day and all night and still be totally exhausted when I got up lol it's so weird.
Life is changing already and I am nervous and anxious to see what happens.
Jason and I have been trying to get a small loan so we could get him a car but that's not gonna happen right now I guess. Banks don't want to give out small loans and I really want to stay away from a major loan right now. Just stinks cause he really needs a car and it would be nice to have a second car with 4 doors for the baby. We shall figure out something though... we are pretty resourceful.
Not really sure what to write about right now.... life is happening all around me and now inside of me and its very surreal.
Jason is cooking for me right now... which he does often and I love him for it. He is going to be such an amazing daddy. I can't wait to see him holding the little tiny for the first time.. it's going to be amazing.

Drinking wine and thinking bliss is on the other side of this
I just need a compass and a willing accomplice
All my doubts that fill my head are skidding up and down again
Up and down and 'round again, down and up and 'round again

I've had my chances and I've taken them all
Just to end up right back here on the floor

Sometimes you think everything is wrapped inside a diamond ring
Love just needs a witness and a little forgiveness
And a halo of patience and a less sporadic pace
And I'm learning to be brave in my beautiful mistakes

I've felt that fire and I've been burned
But I wouldn't trade the pain for what I've learned

Pennies in a well, a million dollars in the fountain of a hotel
Fortune teller that says maybe you will go to hell
But I'm not scared at all
Of the cracks in the crystal, the cracks in the crystal ball

Irony, irony, this hate and love, hate and love
What it does to me? What it's done to me? What is done, done?

Pennies in a well, a million dollars in the fountain of a hotel
Broken mirrors and a black cat's cold stare
Walk under ladders on my way to hell, I'll meet you there
But I'm not scared at all, I'm not scared at all
'Bout the cracks in the crystal, the cracks in the crystal ball

Have you ever fed a lover with just your hands?
Close your eyes And trust it, just trust it
Have you ever Thrown a fist full of glitter in the air?
Have you ever looked fear in the face
And said I just don't care

It's only half past the point of No return
The tip of the ice burg
The sun before the burn
The thunder before lightning
The breathe before the fraze
Have you ever felt thIs way?

Have you ever hated yourself for staring at the phone?
You're whole life waiting on the ring to prove you're not alone
Have you Ever been touch so gently you had to cry?
Have you ever invited a stranger to come inside?

It's only half past the point of oblivion
The hourglass on the table
The walk before the run
The breathe before the kiss
And the fear before the flames
Have you ever felt this way?

There you are, sitting in the garden
Clutching my coffee,
Calling me sugar
You called me sugar

Have you ever wished for an endless night?
Laugh so the moon and the stars and pulled that rope tight
Have you ever held your breathe and asked yourself will it ever get better than tonight?
Tonight

About 6 days left of school and I am scrambling to make it.... I have another piece that has to be completed that I haven't even started on.... can't wait to have a some what stress free summer. The picture above was my first work of the semester and it has grown on me a lot. Initially I hated it because it's something I wouldn't have ever painted out of my own free will but now I think it holds a sad, sick beauty and am really proud I did it. There is so much symbolism hidden in it.... my second piece hasn't been photographed as of yet but will be soon... it's super cool and also broke the mold of my comfort zone. My third piece will be a weird spin off of my first piece... each work I did this semester had to come from a fashion point of view but with it's own emotional word. The first one was shame, the second was piece and my third and final one will be rage.... hopefully it will turn out well.
I keep trying to figure out how to upload videos to this thing... I know it can be done because I have seen video's on other blogs but maybe my computer hates me or something. I am going to try again this time so Dad E can see the band. Made a small compilation of a few songs from my 2nd gig with them... you can tell I am still slightly terrified but it gives you a taste of what we are about.
Almost all of my friends are preggo.... seriously weird for me. Can't decide my own fate when it comes to the whole turning into a mommy thing. Kourtney, Brandy, Kayla, Sariah, Jennifer, Kristen, and Sky are all pregnant right now and Dez, Lisa, Natalie and Sara just had babies.... too weird man. I mean I am happy for them but I just don't feel that old yet... I want to have a baby but am also completely terrified of being bogged down by a child.. and I am still way to selfish and have way to much that I want to do.
Seems like a page in my book is closing.... don't really associate with many people that i used to call my close friends and have now started hanging out with a bunch of people that really encourage me and include me. I haven't felt a sense of closeness with a group of people in a while so it's nice to know that I am invited if they do something and I won't accidently run into them and then have awkward excuses thrown at me.
I have decided that I want to go to China with the art department next summer... it's for a month and I would be able to study with some of the universities there and visit the great wall of china and museums and just see something I haven't ever seen before. I think that would be the coolest thing ever because i really haven't ever been anywhere outside of the U.S. except for Canada and I was only there for one day. haha

looks like this video might MIGHT upload.... I would hope so .... been sitting here for like 30 minutes waiting for the damn this to load.
attempting to upload another video for Eric... me preforming at ASU